Driving has never been on of my strong suits. In fact I didn’t even get my license until I was 24 years old. Oh well. Truthfully didn’t really need it because at college I went to most of the places around town I could walk to and the job I had after college was only in the afternoon as my dad took me on his lunch and mom or a friend picked me up afterwards. When I finally went and did it it took me a few tries but its all said and done now so moving on right, right.

Every new place traveled to I use Google maps at least to get there. If you can’t turn back the way you came when leaving id the problem I have faced most.

Today coming back from a job interview (which I think went well but then again they said that I was their first interview and they ‘were just starting the process) I wasn’t able to turn out of there the direction I came from because of course construction work had begun on that street and around the corner down the direction I needed to go.

WELCOME TO PENNSYLVANIA! Our state flower: the orange cone. Our state motto: If its broke don’t fix it. Just stand around with a bunch of trucks and cones and block the main roads for a few months before the snow starts flying again and you can’t get anything done anyway.

So back to driving back home from the interview place. Finally at some point I found a street I recognized and was able to drive more comfortably til I found a another place I recognized to turn onto. Granted this turn was the street I knew I would find the lane closures and stuff again but such is life. So some guy flew up on my right, the lane I knew I needed to turn onto, and was in my blind spot when I was merging. He laid on his horn for another mile! Yes I know I cut him off technically but I did have my turn signal on and no once again I DID NOT SEE HIM. So obviously with traffic and being in the right lane which I knew closed eventually I was stuck between his horn and a million (exaggerating…kinda) big rigs. By the time I got to the last place anyone could merge into the other lane I was stuck with no one letting me in. The guy behind me eventually laid on his horn again and made his way over, whatever, and then someone was nice enough to let me in two cars later.

My heart was pounding the entire rest of the ride home. Can’t get that drive out of my head now. It will come back to haunt my anxiety forever when it just feels like it.

Did I mention I hate driving?

Yesterday, technically most of today, was spent off of Facebook, Twitter, and Pintrest. My trinity of sites I spend most of my days combing through getting nothing done. Mom wanted to run some errands so I took that as an opportunity to get away from the computer. My phone is on me almost at all times but I didn’t even bother taking it out to check any apps that would make me think twice about this social media free day.

After 11pm the night before last was when it all started. Just saying screw it since I never am actually social on them anyway. Having only three games played on a regular on Facebook and not on Twitter all that often these day they weren’t much to give up I guess. Not sifting through Pintrest and pinning things about my Duct Tape crafts and anxiety was the worst part I think.

So sure I just got back into the Facebook games and they had all reset to day one rewards but such is life. Sometimes one needs to reset their priorities and just unwind with a game that has nothing to do with anyone else. You don’t even need to talk to your friends and neighbors in the game if you don’t want to. The Sims 3! I found a fascinating video on how to make a garage attached to a house with a foundation, which my parents house (the house I have sequestered myself in since yesterday at said time) is built like. So building this house down to the details was my goal and around noon today I finished.

Now I have been building my Sim’s (a skinnier, more charismatic version of me) skills since its the closest I will ever seemingly get to building onto my own skill sets.

Also yesterday involved a lot of reading the book that I will seriously finish before the beach even if it kills me. Today was light on the reading because I was really into my Sim. Got about 30 pages in just yesterday alone though so it makes up for it because I figured out that I needed to read about 14ish pages each day from the three week mark to be finished before we leave that day.

So my Sim may have gone a little loopy staying in her house all day just reading skills books and working on her novels she writes but I enjoyed the solitude today. At least yesterday mom and I didn’t kill each other over something silly as per usual.

Have an interview tomorrow for a job back in teaching. Not sure if its what I want but right now what I need to is get back into a routine as I don’t go mad and my mom and I don’t get at each other’s throats on her days off.

So three weeks from yesterday (I know I missed working on here yesterday but going from my best viewership day to my worst was a little disheartening) my family along with my best friend will be headed to the beach. There have been some good beach trips and not so good ones with the family. Usually I am the one that messes it up with my pessimistic approach to most everything. The first time my best friend came with us I got a cold so that was fun. Here is hoping that this year will be a great one.

In preparation for this trip I am losing weight and working with the mindset that my best friend will be there so I don’t have to be with my family if things between us get rough (which they usually do). Losing over 10lbs so far since the last time that this was really my priority was a shock frankly because I wasn’t even trying this time. With some things people say and hear that all the time it seems. You don’t going looking for something and then eventually there it is. The other day I was looking for something and because mom is usually the one to move things and ‘put them away’ I blamed her when it was my own doing putting them in a drawer I forgot I put it in. Sorry getting off track here. The weight thing was just one thing I had in mind before we leave since I did get two new bathing suits and I hated the fact that shopping in the ‘plus sized’ area made me feel fatter and the designs on the suits were mostly unflattering.

Already have the beach book picked out. My (Not So) Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella, the wonderful write who brought us the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. The title totally spoke to me (if you haven’t noticed by now). Also the back synopsis made me want it even more. Not only does the main character wish she had someone else’s life but frankly I would pay to have an inch of her life. At least with her life she has some prospects of a job and a love life. Though the initial job falls apart her parents are willing to actually help her with a new business venture. I wish I had parents like that that didn’t just say you need to keep looking for a job.

Here is just hoping that the bookI’m on now I can finish before then. Also that this whole blogging thing doesn’t just blow up in my face and make me regret everything.

Every Pinterest post I read about anxiety and depression says that exercise helps with both. Getting fresh air and moving your body makes a big difference. Though I started playing Pokemon Go about two years ago (about a month or so after everyone else) it was only kinda helping by making me go for walks around the neighborhood to hatch eggs and what have you. It was only within the last year that I have come to go places like walking parks by myself. In that time I have met other players (though I did use to play with two friends of mine, one no longer living in the area and the other I haven’t hung out with in a long time do to my work as of a few months ago and both of our anxiety issues with leaving the house. Seriously hoping to get her back into it at some point especially now that it is about to be Summer.) Now that I haven’t been on the schedule a lot at work I have been going for walks a lot more (almost every day) and I have been more productive now only in the game but when I get home I am more motivated than ever to catch up on shows, get done with this book I am reading (hopefully before my family leaves for the beach, unless I have to unfortunately stay and watch the dog all week), and work on my Duct Tape products.

Tomorrow is the neighborhood Yard Sale. Mom says she has some random things that I can sit out on the driveway and sell if I want to. Also she thinks it would be a good start for me to sell my wallets. I am inclined to agree with her for once though it is from 7:30 til 12 and I am not sure of when I will wake up. Lately it has been 9 on days I don’t work though I do go to bed later on those days. Horrible night sleep I think is another symptom of my anxiety. Tonight I will try and go to bed uncharacteristically early so I can possibly do this thing but then again I will probably be up worrying that it will all go horribly wrong and I won’t sell any of my things let alone mom’s. I guess it’s a good thing I got an hour’s worth of active minutes in according to my FitBit and I am exhausted sitting here trying to keep my head up so maybe I will sleep tonight.

So the other day I told myself and my best friend that I would use what I had when it came to Duct Tape for my crafts and not buy any more until I was almost out. Today I ran out of red for the bag I had been working on the last couple days. So I went to grocery store and bought some red, and about five other colors I thought looked nice. Going there thinking I was spending about $4 and ending up spending almost $20, ugh. Not that I have finished this bag and am working on a couple of wallets, I have all the tape I need to work, I swear I will not buy anymore Duct Tape now until I am COMPLETELY out. Even if I run out of a color I will switch it up and go with another combination to get things done.

This bag has the most elaborate design I have tried without having a shopping bag or something like that as a base to work with. It makes me feel so accomplished to see it finished. I even decided to add a pocket on the inside that fits my phone! Usually when I finish a product it makes me feel relief that it is just done and over with. This bag feels different somehow. I hope to eventually be able to feel that way about all my labors of love.

At one point I thought about selling my products on Etsy or some platform like that. Maybe even here if that’s possible (still need to figure this thing out). Not sure how to price my products even if I were to figure it all out. Oh well that’s something for a future post for now.