Boomerang

No I have not bounced back from all the drama in my life. Nor have I resolved my anxieties towards people and places. What I do the other night was almost leave this Hell I called home and not have a plan or anything. Just packed up things, mostly work clothes, and walk out the front door. That was the absolute last straw with dad. He doesn’t respect me enough to listen to me when I say I don’t want to do something with him solely because of his drinking problem at this point, I don’t want to be in the same galaxy as him. Yesterday I got out of the house meeting my best friend downtown for an Arts Festival and stayed down there with her for dinner and we even went and saw a play. I didn’t get home until 10pm at that point and my parents and aunt who is visiting for the weekend for the Arts Festival weren’t home because they were out at some bar for karaoke. My dad sings true, but again with the going out just to drink! It’s enough to make me not want anything to do with him ever again. He tried to justify himself by saying he strips the bed and makes it every week, blah, blah, blah…too drunk to think of anything else he does around the house. Mow the lawn came to my mind but I wasn’t going to give his drunk ass all the answers. Then he proceeds to call me out on doing nothing around the house. I was having a good day up til that point. I was ready to sit down with my water bottle and some snacks and binge watch one of my shows. I turned off the TV, walked upstairs and started to pack. It was only when the heft of my duffel bag made so much noise with my trying to get it down the stairs did my mom wake up and get me to come back and put it all away and forget him and his stupid drunken bs.

Today I thought well if he ‘pays’ for everything in this house I will use the things I know he didn’t pay for to go about my life. Let’s just say the router I used in my first college apartment doesn’t connect to the internet, not sure what’s wrong there, and I am still on the house wifi but at least I gave it the old college try. ;P My friend has graciously given me her log in for several streaming sites so that’s not on him whatsoever. Mom bought the bagel and yogurt I just had for breakfast while I have been sitting here. Oh and this laptop was a gift from ‘both of them’ for my 21st birthday so its mine by gift giving standards I guess. I doubt highly he would know how to use it if he tried. A computer programmer who has no clue how to use a PC! Sitting here I see my crafts bag to my left. I should get back to it but I probably won’t until at least Tuesday when the long weekend is over and I feel like I have more room to do things and not be smothered by criticisms of how it is a waste of time and money. Frankly after that one trip to the Dollar Tree to get the shiny tape I think I am done buying for a bit. I will use what I have and that will be that. Though I do have Michael’s coupons I just printed out and I know my best friend said we should go out and use some of the gift cards to various places I told her were burning a hole in my pocket the other day. I guess it’s not really spending my money if its a Visa gift card that one happened to find in a purse one hasn’t used in forever. That reminds me, I do need to write a check to mom for her using her credit card at a store to buy me something so she could get the rewards points but I’ll get to it eventually. The one other thing I need to do with my money is reload my Starbucks card but again another time wouldn’t hurt.

So I covered my personal family problems and my money kind of problems. I guess me being able to go with my best friend and her boyfriend, who is another story I am not keen to get into now, to different places with a lot of people that I don’t know bounced me back out of my funk I had been in for what feels like forever. It wasn’t exactly a boomerang effect but I am now ready to concentrate on things a little better today. I mean I got done with this post already and its only 10:30am.