Depression and the Dollar Tree

Same shit, different day. The same conversation said with different words but the same concept and same results. Insanity: doing something over and over again expecting different results. My relationship with my parents. My mother specifically. My dad not so much because there is no changing a soon to be 64 year old child’s ways when he is set in them. In September I will be turning 30 and I guess that makes me kind of set in my ways too. An adult with seemingly no prospects, no future while I live in the only place that I have ever called home since I was too young to remember our first home. Stuck in the mud with only myself to blame though I have a tendency to blame everyone around me for all of my faults and troubles. Everything I do is my choice. I chose to leave my last job because I couldn’t handle my boss. I chose to go back to getting half that job’s pay being a Hostess with nowhere to go but down. My complaint to myself when I had a full time job was I had so much to do and no time to do it. Now I have all the time in the world on my days off from the restaurant and I get bored so easily doing one thing I go do another and another until my brain explodes with why the hell didn’t I finish that and now its time for bed. Why can’t I just read that book I really want to finish before the family vacation? Why can’t I concentrate on this show I have been meaning to catch up on for a while now and my best friend is already done with? Menial shit like that that others usually take for granted but living in my head of mild depression and deep anxiety I can’t seem to just stop and do. Mom wants me to go to the store and spend whatever is on those gift cards that have just been lying around but that involves me leaving the house, getting in my car and driving to said places by myself because she isn’t going and I can’t ever seem to get a hold of my friends ever anymore when they say they are available or even if they don’t but I don’t want to go out alone so I ask them and they don’t get back to me until midnight when there is nothing to do but stare at a screen. Ok so that was the depressing part, now here is where the Dollar Tree comes into play. You can now buy Duct Tape at the Dollar Tree or at least tat the one close to my house. As I understand it not all Dollar Tree’s have the same inventory but that’s besides the point I am making here. The quality isn’t the greatest but hey I have already made a wallet out of it. It took a bit because it is so thin its hard to line up without it getting stuck in the wrong way or one piece getting wrapped in itself. It works though so that’s all that matters. The color selection there wasn’t the widest but I got a few shiny colors that look fun together. Which reminds me I really need to take more pictures of my products even though once again I feel like this blogging things is going nowhere and my ramblings are falling on deft ears and I will never sell my products or make a profit as a blogger. Pintrest is a fun place to look at ideas and designs for things to make with Duct Tape and other things that can be found at the Dollar Tree but that’s even becoming same shit different day looking at posts and pins and dreaming about what I could do if I ever get out of this Hell I’m living. Here’s hoping one day maybe when I’m 90 I’ll have made something of myself but 30 isn’t looking so great right now.